i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Your penis caused this!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
