Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
