I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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