Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
