Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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