dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
