Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
