I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
