even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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