YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just high enough for therapy.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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