Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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