Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
