i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Holy shit dude........stairs
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
