He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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