so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
