We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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