We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
