So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
