my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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