What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
