its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it's like iHOP with fire
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
