Me too!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
