just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
