Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
