I need help removing her.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize