Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
