The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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