i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
