I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
