Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
