How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize