One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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