there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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