Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
