i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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