Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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