You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
