I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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