The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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