I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
