IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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