my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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