I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
