You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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