Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
from now on my penis is your penis
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize