At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
