our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
