I'm lost and stupid without you.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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