i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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