he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
