marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
