i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
