Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Pinterest knows Iβm getting divorced
You canβt homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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