I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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