i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
