I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Randomize
