He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
