I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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