Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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